To Shop or Not to Shop? (To L&G and Not TB?) - this (or that) is the Going Question … a post by Luc(e)

Being part of a group is often challenging for me as a person with Asperger Syndrome.  It has been easier for me in this NGS photo-group knowing a couple of transgender folk from elsewhere/beforehand, and not being the only ‘T’ person* in attendance - as has transpired(!) in other Queer-in-Brighton groups… However, having photography fun / making photographic art is something that comes easily to me, and offers me relief when stressed, and enjoyment when alone.  I’ve been keeping a fotografic journal over the past 3-years -or-so of owning a mobile-phone-with-camera.  “Snapaholism: cheaper and more cheerful than Shopaholism” says I…  [* Person is Not a Rude Word – do use it! ]

After the first evening get-together at New Writing South(on 30th July), I needed to de-stress with a photo shoot of night-lit shop windows and pubs in the North Laine.  These created pleasing ‘mosaics’ in my Samsung Galaxy SIII mobile photo ‘Gallery’ (camera:12megapixel) – which Anthony L recommended that I continue to ‘create’ for this QinB project (no chance of my not doing so…)

I’ve also continued snapping - for the duration of this project & beyond - my theme of flora&architecture-around-the-City and my Trans*-related own-project of photographing the interiors&facilities of access toilets as (usually) gender-neutral / unisex spaces in our society’s infrastructure. Also, and gladly, from Anthony’s suggestion, I’ve added more self-portraiture with mirrors in same venues – only now wearing my “Trans* Person” lanyard (‘tranny lanny’) as fashioned for Brighton & Hoves first Trans* Pride (26-28th July).

Coming out of the 1st-of-four Saturday workshops, I espied (and snapped) a TKMaxx shopping trolley (all red to totally dominate a pic!) and found myself de-stressing by going shopping at said bargain emporium for stripe-or-otherwise socks (sometimes the shopping just has to be done…)

   

I have enjoyed much of the group interactivity: our scrabbling for and then choosing our group name from suggested scrap-paper-scribblings (see action shot below); our self-portraits snapping at the PhotoMatic/FotoMagic booth in the Laine’s Snoopers Paradise; and  - not least - and our quaffing of coffee and cake/pastry…

     

[see my own ‘Person is Not a Rude Word’ blagspot for shots of refreshments and other assorted NotGoingShopping offerings…]

http://offthetrolleyproductions.wordpress.com/2013/08/29/acronyms-can-be-subhumane/

[More comfort items & activities required after my mobile’s external SDcard went rogue and ‘ate up’ whole series of snaps (100+)… PhotoMatic’s ‘Fear & e-Smoking in Las Vegas’ half-survived at least]

Being social on NSG’s F’bk page turned out to be pretty hyper-angst-inducive… After the second of two Sunday mornings’ downloading images and wordplay tumbling about in my non-neuro-typical brain, I found myself destressing again with 21-shot-mosaic-snappery - around the Duke of York’s cinema - which then became a fotovideo [which can be viewed via blog link above].  This I entitled “ID-(e)-a-List” as I found the images to be indicative of the 3rd week’s ‘homework’ of exploring self-identity; it was also an experiment in iMovie with adding multiple title texts (as my ‘fibrofogged’ mind had forgotten how to overlay text - plus how to online-search how to do that…)

We went off into our 4th week of exploration with the question of being ‘queer’ versus being ‘LGBT’ community/persons.  I don’t have a sense of LGBT community – and find the acronym limiting and ‘PC’ convenient; for me, even if appropriate, the acronym would be more accurately written as GLT&B for the amount of utterance and recogition of the component ‘parties’ within the so-called community – and reflecting the current & continuing state-of-play of gay-cis-male & “pink£pound” dominance in society. [Plus U R more likely to hear “ladies” than “lesbians” spoken these days: eek…]

As others have reflected in their photography and interests within the NGS ‘camera club’ (and on this blog), we all are loosely-connected persons living as individualistic lives as heterosexual and/or cisgendered persons do within the wider community of Brighton (&Hove), England, GB, UK, etc…

I definitely fit into the “queer”  or - more suitably as transintersexual person? – “qwe’re” defining-label on every front of my being: as emotionally pan- but physically A-sexual, I express myself outside LGB; as Aspergic I experience myself as not neuro-typical; as fibromyalgic and bi-polar I qualify as ‘disabled’ and, thereby, outside the ‘able-bodied’ and 3-in-4 ‘able-minded’ population; as hormones+surgery-transitioned transintersexual I’m not yet generally acknowledged under the Trans* umbrella… Being (ethnically) white and (by upbringing) middle class I do otherwise ‘anchor’ to the mainstream and dominant!

- see more of my take on sexuality-versus-gender acronym-ing in my blog’s intro pages1&2

http://offthetrolleyproductions.wordpress.com/about-this-tgqi-person-pt-1/
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And so… back to not-going-shopping: yay!

Luc(e)Rs

The word 'queer' ... by Kate

One of the broad ideas that the project has brought up for me is the question of what constitutes queer. Our group discussions often turn to what we mean by that term and we always find ourselves preserving the openness of it. Nearing the beginning of the project the question for me was how to capture something in line with ‘queer’ and still maintain that openness - to resist fixing it in any way. Week on week the huge spectrum of images, experiences and points of view photographed by all of us has formed a body of work that is multiple and open and resits pinning down queer in definitive terms. It’s been really rewarding to progress through this project with everyone else and I think ultimately it’s that group collective that helps us use queer in that unfixed, uncategorised way that can only ever be more productive than divisive labels and boxed in concepts.

I often end up leaving the workshop with loads of big ideas, all of which are too big to translate, or don’t really come off. This week I'm trying to focus on the every day, on the little things. I'm asking myself why they matter; why these things in particular? At the same time I'm not asking anything at all. I'm putting faith in the idea that such images self-select in the sense that there is something about them that sparks the impulse to pick up the camera. I'm much more open now to just seeing where an idea takes me and trying out different things. For now it’s one last photographing spree before our workshop tomorrow.  

LGBT and what it means to me ... by Charlie

LGBT

In the group we spent quite a while discussing the phrase (acronym?) LGBT - lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender. Largely we disagreed with this as a representation of the queer community. Personally I find it a bit narrow. I think it doesn’t allow for much room and seems to operate within the system of binaries many queer people fight hard to defy. I dislike the way it refuses to acknowledge the grey areas that I personally try to occupy, the same grey areas that are constantly ignored by the majority of society at the cost of the people in them. And surely exclusion is the last thing anyone in this community needs. I use the word community carefully – a few in the group disagreed with it too, saying it implied that all the gays in Brighton were in some sort of club that met on Thursday nights in the church and exchange opinions on Liza Minnelli or the L word. That’s not the community I have in mind. My idea of community is a system of people who don’t necessarily have anything in common but kind of have an overall support for each other – a sense of togetherness through difference. It doesn’t mean everyone has to be best friends, people don’t even need to like each other, but I like to think if I was getting beaten up for wearing eyeliner in some ally, I would be able to call an army of queer folks to come to my aid. I’m aware this is almost definitely naive (obviously that was an extreme example but still) the more I find out about the politics of all this stuff the more I realise how many different opinions there are on the matter, many feeling like some groups should have no need to have any responsibility to any other than themselves. I understand that, but I like my idea better. It’s like a big celebration of love but without all the pitfalls of huge celebrations of love (extremism and Jesus). But back to LGBT. It might just be because I don’t currently identify with any of those letters, but certainly feel a queerness to my personality. I was born in the fires of the queer world (resulting in me having a small legion of lesbians forming a support network stronger than steel). I also don’t feel much solidarity with the straight mainstream, obviously not all of them, but I tend to be drawn to people who are (and I say this lovingly) a bit odd. Not always in a queer way, but people who have transcended the norm a little bit. So I would hate to be excluded from what I consider ‘my people’ because im not an L, G, B or T. I don’t feel it’s as simple as four letters. If anything this group have proved that. There are people in Not Going Shopping who have nothing in common with the other people on a personal level but there is a warmness to the room as soon as you walk in. A lovely queer warmth from people of virtually every description of queer.   That’s why I think queer is a better word, you don’t have to qualify, you can just meet on equal not judgemental terms. I think I think this because of political reasons but it could just be a personal fear of exclusion. Anyway, ramble over. Looking forward to the next session.

Charlie

Pledging Support ... by Matt

I am getting to grips with this camera malarkey now. I have also realised that we only have one official session left. It's not panicking me, as such, rather I will miss the opportunity to take photos of just about everything. And men in their bedrooms, of course.

Somehow I have broadened my horizons by taking pictures of my own life. I suppose I rarely take the time to reflect on what's happening right now: I tend to live it and forget about a lot of it. Since embarking on the Queer In Brighton project I have noticed a subtle change in the way that I view the World around me: I certainly take notice of things more, now. I still miss opportunities to take pictures of those new things that have been there a long time before I was born but I'm looking.

The project has also helped me come to terms with being unapologetic for who I am. I've stated before that being queer has not been a negative experience for me, in fact quite the opposite. But I've always been sensitive to the plight of others and meeting several people who identify, in one way or another, as trans has confirmed that it's okay to be an unapologetic gay man: It's just another label, after all. I have so many freedoms to enjoy thanks to my queer ancestors in the UK and Europe and to a limited extent, the US. They didn't have a smooth ride so that I could sail on to greater things.

And now the focus, for me anyway, turns towards gender identity: Is it the next frontier of human rights? Do we need the same kinds of protests as happened with Stonewall, that are happening across the globe with issues not related to sex or sexuality? I think we do and I think I can be part of that foundation of people who don't have to be trans to be angry and concerned and compassionate about issues that affect trans people.

This all sounds very grandiose as I re-read it and I've been guilty of pledging an allegiance and purpose to a cause before and then finding myself without the time to devote to it or the funds to travel to the places that I need to be in order to help.

So, if there's anything this gay man can do to support the 'trans community' then count me in. I'm a good problem-solver and administrator so if an organisation needs that then, for example, I could devote some of my spare time to helping in that area.

And all the while I'll be taking pictures of random men in the street who catch my eye. And listening to music as I stomp to work in the morning and again on the way home. And cooking, cleaning, ironing, going out on the razzle, dancing, walking, smoking (hopefully not forever), eating and having a life like every other free person on the planet.

When I answered the call to the project I did so because it was doing something new and a bit frightening. Pledging my support in whatever capacity that turns out to be in is also bloody frightening.

Bring it.

Some notes on the third workshop ... by Sarah

We were a smaller group for our third session and had been asked to bring pictures that relate to our (queer) family this time. It was really great to see things come together and to discuss the variety of things people came up with. I felt like we had stretched ourselves more this time and it was amazing how differently the members had interpreted the theme. I especially like being introduced to bike-sexuality! Taking our self-portrait in the photo booth once more was a nice way to get out and experiment in a more playful way after trying quiet hard on some photos I made that week.

I took pictures of my friends JB and Lucy to try and portrait a queer couple in an authentic way that reflects Brighton and the way they are together and some pictures of myself in black & white to bring in this week. I was happy with the couple`s pictures, but found the process of doing self-portraits rather frustrating. Being introduced to Francesca Woods meant so much to me though - I´ve become obsessed with her and really want to challenge myself to try and touch on some of her ideas about gender and the self. Going through so many pictures that had gone wrong in preparation for the session had killed my creative enthusiasm a little, but I really want to go beyond that, to untangle how this is related to feminism and negative body images and to understand how being on both sides of the lens can be very empowering. I guess this session really brought home to me how "breaking into" a new creative practice is much easier and more rewarding in a group setting - so thank you guys.

A quick note after the fourth workshop ... by Ten

Photograph, photograph, photograph!

A post by Matt from the not going shopping facebook group

Third week already! ... by Edward

Bursting with ideas this week. Not all of them good. Some of them too big of course! How many costumes am I planning on buying for this project? How much new camera equipment? Stop that, I don’t need that. Must remember to keep it simple.

I have started to think about themes of identity and self and representation. Kinda big themes but also nice and open. I’ve got lots of room to explore those things. Lots of ideas, so I reckon I'll just see how they pan out. Take the photos and come back to them later and see what I’ve got. Take them all along to the group and see what the others make of them. It is very easy to edit your ideas in your head until you end up with nothing left.

This week’s theme: family. In our first session we all talked about "friends as family" in the queer community. So I'm thinking about that, and thinking about my own family too.
Who do I call "my family"?
And why?

A poem sent to Anthony by Harry after the second workshop

Picture the queers with cameras; snappy queers, visual queers

With their queer shots, queer photos, queer exposure and queer perspectives.

After all, ‘an image is a 1,000 words’ in queer eye view Brighton.

Today, the photo queers 2013 are not going shopping.

Instead, a life of identity and exposure to capture the unframed photo Q

Illustration with layers and tangents, photos of innocence & experience – lives.

Visible light; eyes and lens; vis-a-visual Q in B

To capture the queer alternative, stirrers and photo bother camera vision

Living queer treasures, focus sight and film with viewfinder, frame and focus,

Then see, unconventional cock shots, snapshots, fire sight screen

Photo bent aperture snap caught;

Composition and imagination are exposed in the moment, living

The Brighton camera queer photo club.

Plans plans plans after workshop one ... by Ed

I had this plan, after our first meet up, that I would take a hundred thousand photos, every detail of my life would be captured. This has not worked out. And I was having some doubts that I even understood what it was to be queer in Brighton. Queer isn’t a word I have used much to describe myself, although I understood that as a trans man, the broader, open meaning of queer covered my experience.

I didn’t know where to begin. I started taking photos of myself, at random, throughout the day. I let my left arm become detached and roam free, taking photos of myself when I wasn’t expecting it. Let’s just take photos. Let’s just see what comes up. So I took photos of myself, my house, my books, my notes.

Of course, pride is an obvious photo opportunity. Hundreds of things you can photograph at pride. It had been Trans Pride just the week before and I had been running around so much, like an idiot I forgot to take photos. At LGBT pride I didn’t want to take photos of the people in drag and glitter, the half naked men, the floats covered in rainbow balloons and rainbow flags. Brightness and colour and drama is easy to find at pride, but wasn’t my pride experience. So I tried to photograph what pride was for me, our stall, the literature tent, my friends sitting on the grass.

The second workshop ... by Anthony

The second workshop for not going shopping took place on from 1pm to 5pm on Saturday August 10. We spent a little time downloading everyone's photographs on to a computer hooked up to a projector. Once this was all sorted participants took it in turns to show the photographs they had made in the time since the first workshop. We discussed what was working well in the photographs people had made and what could be improved and how this might be achieved.

It was really exciting seeing the photographs people had made and to hear about their experiences of making them. This took up most of the session but left us enough time to head to a photomatic booth to have our self-portraits taken and to come back to the workshop space to come up with the title: not going shopping.

To do this, we spent five minutes or so writing down as many words and title ideas as we could think of on to pieces of paper. We screwed up the pieces of paper and put them into my hat. Each of us then took it in turns to pull these out... but this didn't seem to get us anywhere! So Ed suggested we put all of the pieces of paper on the ground and discuss which ones we like and why. We decided that not going shopping worked the best. It seemed to creatively encapsulate some of the discussions we'd had about queerness.

An email from Matt to Anthony about the first workshop

A post by JB

As someone with a keen interest, but little experience in photography, and a similarly keen interest in queer politics and history, this project seemed perfect for me. I was super excited when I knew I was able to be a part of it. Although I had thought a little about what pictures I might like to take I tried not to focus my thoughts too much until I had met Anthony and discussed the project with the group.

Typically late, I walked in on an interesting group of individuals all of whom felt an affinity to the word queer and wanted to be a part of this project as much as me. As we each shared three photos that told ‘our story’ we ended up getting a metaphorical snapshot of each person’s life and heard some moving and funny stories. As with most queer activities in Brighton, there were some friends and familiar faces. Our stories, although they spanned many miles and decades, seemed to be bound up by the shared experience of being queer, some of the pictures were intimate and political, and very much relatable.

Anthony was friendly, energetic, and thoughtful. After seeing some of his work I was more excited than ever to be involved. I really enjoy portraiture but have always really struggled to take portraits myself. I particularly loved his work with the Eastern European women in Belfast and would be over the moon if some of our photos managed to say as much as theirs did. As we discussed queer representation in society and how curators represent LGBT people, we noticed that in some ways our small group wasn’t representative. Although it’s a shame no BME people are involved with the project, I was pleased that we were all aware that our work would be missing this important perspective.

As we considered the themes we hoped to cover we talked about friends and family, places, culture, language, and politics. One thing we scrawled down particularly caught my attention: ‘Does queer life happen in queer places?’ It occurred to me that the moments I feel my queer identity most strongly in, are not queer places at all, but are specific places all the same. I have decided to use this week to photograph the places a feel most queer in such as my doctors surgery, the public toilets, and I may even go back to visit my old church to take note of my difficult time there.

We are due to meet again in just over a week and I’m already looking forward to discussing the project more and undoubtedly getting more inspiration.

Jess Bayliss

The first workshop ... by Anthony

The first workshop for not going shopping took place on Tuesday evening, July 30, 2013. Participants were asked to bring along three photographs they felt told 'their story'.

"They might even be photographs of other people, places or things you feel have played a significant role in the story of you. It’s entirely up to you. All I ask is that you think as broadly, bravely and creatively as you can, and that you won’t mind telling a little about why you chose these photographs when we meet on Tuesday evening."

Everyone arrived around 6pm. I welcomed them in to the space. After a short time I introduced my practice as an artist, writer and educator, and I shared with participants my intentions for working with them to create photographic work for an exhibition and publication for Queer in Brighton in February, 2014.

I then invited everyone to take it in turn to talk about the three photographs they brought along with them. This seemed to me to be a great way to hear a little about people's experiences, the things that are important to them, and to also hear about what they think about photography.

Following this, we ate some delicious cakes and drank tea. Then we brainstormed ideas around four themes: 'family and friends', 'place', 'politics', and 'language and representation'.

Participants were coached in using their cameras. If they didn't have a camera they were loaned one for the duration of the project. Everyone was encouraged to photograph the things that interest them or matter to them.

Here are a few photographs from the first workshop.

Welcome to not going shopping

not going shopping charts the process of the artist Anthony Luvera working with eleven people to create a photographic work for Queer in Brighton, a project that celebrates cultural heritage of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender people in Brighton and Hove. 

The work made by Anthony and 

Jess Bayliss
Raphael Fox
Ten Harber
Sarah Hebben
Harry Hillery
Kelly McBride
Luc Raesmith
Matt Robinson
Kate Turner
Ed Whelan
Charlie Wood

will be shown in an outdoor citywide exhibition in Brighton from February 2014.

On this blog Anthony and the participants will share their experiences, observations, photographs and anything else they find interesting, as a way to document their work together.